Family System Fences

You can really understand a family by what kind of fence they have. A care-free, no boundary family will have fence posts set up around the perimeter of their yard but will never really get to putting up the fence. They allow people in and out of their backyards and anybody can drop by at any time. We call this a diffused boundary.

Diffused Boundary          . . . . . . . . .

Another fence type that people might have is a rigid boundary. Imagine a neighbor with a 9 foot tall cinder block fence. Obviously, this would not be a very easy yard to get into. This family has very set boundaries and will not let anyone in.

Rigid Boundary          _______________________

The last fence type is the picket fence. Many people would say that their ideal home would have a cute little picket fence surrounding their property. Picket fences are easy to see through but you just can walk over onto someone's property. The picket fence has a clear and permeable boundary.

Clear/Permeable          _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Now, I will apply this to families. First and foremost, moms and dads need to have a strong sense of togetherness. There bond needs to look like this with a clear/permeable boundary around the both of them together.

Around this circle can be a clear/permeable style circle around the children. 

This is the healthy family lifestyle.