How do we express feelings in a marriage? Sometimes it is hard to express certain feelings; mainly pain. I don't mean pain as in a scratched arm, I mean pain as in sadness, unhappiness, or pain caused by something that needs to be fixed. How do we begin to talk about fixing something? It's easy to put the blame on someone else for the problems in your marriage. Blaming someone can be compared to complaining. Generally, when people express pain, it evokes compassion. However, complaining is an adults way of crying but it is not compassion evoking. It is important not to blame others for the things we struggle with. Pain without blame brings compassion. Pain with blame equals contention.
Now, there are many other reasons why a marriage could have problems. I'm not saying that blame is the core of all marital problems, however, if you feel that blaming and complaining are a big part of the contention in your home, step back and reevaluate. Take time to think by yourself and then, with your spouse, go to the root of the problem and solve it without complaints or blame. You will find that by communicating, you can solve your problems much more efficiently.
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