Power in Marriage

Power can be a great thing but more often than not, power can actually harm a relationship when not used appropriately. Power is being able to influence others without being influenced yourself. It's being able to influence someone in they way they feel, think, or act. This type of power has both pros and cons.

There are 5 main types of power in a marriage.
1. Coercive- you might to something that they spouse wants just to avoid punishment by the spouse
2. Reward- doing what your spouse wants just to obtain a reward
3. Legitimate- when the spouse and the right to ask you and you have the duty to comply
4. Referent- this is the identification with admiration of spouse and the desire to please your spouse.
5. Information- this involves persuasion by the souse that what they spouse wants i in your own best interest

So, some of these are fine but most of them aren't and all of them could be used in a bad way.

So don't use them! We need to all have a Syncratic marriage. Have a love that is together, equal, and reciprocated.

Here are some tips:

• say "we" not "you" when addressing conflict
• reverse your buts... I love you but you make me mad. You make me mad but I love you. Make sure the last thing they hear is, I love you.